The chaos.

Okay, so here's a few pictures thrown together. I didn't get all of them yet, but I think this little gathering sums up what was going on at the wedding pretty well. At least the way we lived it, on fast forward :) Enjoy!

The numbers.

It all comes down to the numbers, doesn't it? Here they are.

130 beautiful people
150 lollipops of 20 different kinds
12 hours of chaos
130 butterflies that flew out of the napkins
4 official wedding songs
5 bands/acts
30 yellow helium wish balloons
10 best men and bridesmaids
60 chinese lampions
1 cotton candy machine
10 mini bubblegum dispensers
1 kilo of marshmallows
6 lifesize cardboard VIPs
5 hour reel of punk videos
5 custom bouquets to be caught
1 DJ wearing a kilt
4 layers of delicious cake
15 tables named after our favourite bands
2 custom Munnies as cake toppers

Back with pictures tres soon!

The learnings.

So, the wedding came and went. And it was perfect. As much of a control freak as I was up to the last moment when we packed and I dragged my trashed dress home, that's how intensively I loved every second of it. But enough about that, I'll let the pictures do the talking when we get back from the honeymoon. Yes, currently we are still in Tokyo, but there are a few things I really want to write down and get off my mind.

First off, I have to say I suffered from some kind of post-partum depression after the wedding. I was kind of relieved and happy that it all went exactly the way we wanted it to, but also, it was weird... All these months planning every little detail, all that looking forward to it, and now, that's it. Because I definitely am not planning to do it again. It was a strange feeling, but now it's totally gone because I know there's always something new to look forward to. Just not another wedding of ours though :)

Second, I am so sorry I did not have enough time to hang out with everyone that was there. It is mental, let me tell you. The hours pass like minutes and you're trying your hardest to try the food - which we didn't do actually - talk to everyone, take pictures, dance, do the activities planned, etc, etc, etc, and it never stops. So if you were there and we didn't hang out properly, I am so very sorry and trust me, you'll understand it all at your wedding. And if you're already married you know very well what I'm talking about. On the same note, so many people came and made our day so awesome... It wouldn't have been so special without each and every one of you and I hope you all know the place you have in our hearts. I hereby swear I will never again miss a wedding I'm invited to, it means so much to have the people you care about enough to invite there, that's what it's all about!

And finally, I have to say my uncle and my mom are officially saints. My uncle for giving the 27-year-old spoiled brat everything she wanted and more, and to my mom for making this all happen. She made every little thing there happen, this was all her doing and even if we thank her for it every day until the end of our lives, it will not be enough. It's already hard enough dealing with a daughter that always wants what she wants and wants it her way, this wedding pushed her so far that I'm kind of ashamed to admit it. But she made everything real. She is amazing, I love her to bits and I don't think I deserve her, but hey, you don't get to choose family :)

That's it for now, pictures and honeymoon details to follow when we head back from Japan.

Once again, thank you all who came for being there! And to my mom... Next year I'm taking you to Hawaii.

The gifties.

So things are slowly shaping up. I went to Bucharest last week-end to tie up some loose ends and I feel more relaxed now. It's all coming together. The flowers are discussed, the layout of the party tent is set, the food is ordered. There is a bit of a problem with the bells in the chapel, the problem being they don't work. We might have to use a CD with a church bells recording.

We also got our package from the States with tons of really cool lollipops we are going to use for decoration in combination with the flowers, and our giveaways for the guests - over 150 assorted rubber duckies. Timo layed them out in the house, in a row leading from the door to the bedroom so I would find them when I got back home, it was really sweet. I spent an hour or so looking at each one of them, I have to say they're really cute.



While working on this all, I am finally learning that the most important thing about the wedding is what it means for my relationship with Timo, and I really am looking forward to having that ring on my finger. So is Timo, he says that's what he's most excited about. Closely after that, having our pasts and presents come together, having all our friends and family there, people we know from so many different places that have somehow touched our lives - that's what's really cool and exciting. The details are just the nice garnish to the big fat steak. I think I might just not need any bitch-slaps on the day of the wedding. I'll hopefully be happy and relaxed... I have to be.

And to show just how chillaxed I am, here's a little shout-out to Maria, Missy and Mona, three of my lovely bridesmaids: you better be getting your pretty asses to the dress-maker ASAP or I will hunt you down and... cry a lot until you do it. Or something of the sort.

The fever.

Yes, it's already starting. The wedding is getting closer and closer and I am working on lots of things at the same time. It's hard not being in Bucharest to handle things myself, but if there's one person I trust in this world it's my mom and I know she'll have everything under control. She came over to visit last week for my first dress fitting (which by the way, fit freakishly well, but I know my weight's gonna fluctuate, worried about that now) and we went over every detail of the big day. We have so many things going on, so many special touches and so many surprises planned, it's more like a festival than a wedding, and I am getting SO excited. I wish I could write down here all the great touches we've decided on and came up with, but I have to keep them surprises. It's gonna be a bit of a... punk-rock carnival infused with a candyland theme. Just a lot of color and fun things going on, not just a dinner and dance type of affair. I also had time to arrange my bridesmaids gifts, I actually bought them something really special and made the gift package myself, that was a really fun little project. Which reminds me, I want to write about my wedding party on here.

I'm really, really, really excited about everything... I just hope on the day I'll be able to slip off the control freak hat and enjoy myself. And that will be a lot more difficult than it sounds.

The family.

I thought I'd post a few pictures from the photo shoot we had on the day of the wedding, after saying "Ja!". That sounds so very funny. So without further ado, I give you... the Zohms :)

The first one.

The first wedding, that is. It happened last friday and it was intimate, but very, very sweet. Timo was quite nervous, but I kept it together... for a while.


At around 11 we became husband and wife in the eyes of the German state, with our close families and friends watching (and crying). We then had a lovely lunch party, after which me and the new hubby were taxied over to a very nice hotel, where my mom had booked us a room as a gift for the occasion.




The whole day was so intense and so emotionally and physically overwhelming that it was only when we had time to beathe, I finally broke down. As soon as we checked in, we sat down on the bed and we decided to read all the phone messages and cards we had gotten throughout the day. It is quite customary here to announce a wedding through the newspaper, and I was amazed at the number of cards, flowers and gifts we got sent over to the restaurant. As we started going through them, it started to sink in what a big moment we just had. I basically started crying while trying to read out loud a message Maria had sent me, all the way from a sunny beach in Thailand, and I only stopped after we got through everything. That being said, I'm not sure just how this made us different, if it did. I do know when I look at Timo I feel a stronger sense of property, like he's clearly mine now, but other than that it's still us, childish and silly but very much in love. "Married" is still a very strange, grown-up word in our eyes, but I think it's a gradual process of really understanding how big this is for us.


On a lighter note, after all the crying was done, we got a complimentary bottle of champagne from the hotel, we ordered yummy room service and we watched Max Payne on Pay TV. We went all out on the hotel experience, so to speak :) . In the morning we had a huge, delicious breakfast and took a walk by the Rhine to retrieve our car from the restaurant. It was a very self-indulgent evening and morning, but we both really needed it.

The bottom line is... we're married. And we still have the big wedding to look forward to.

The invite.

So our invitations have started going out, courtesy of my dear mom who's now getting in the car and doing the rounds. In the next two weeks or so everyone should get theirs. I haven't seen one in the flesh yet, as they were printed in Bucharest, but a shipment is getting here tomorrow with my parents. I'm pretty excited to hold one in my hands, I hope they're up to par since they're the first thing that might bring the Bridezilla out of its cage.

Here's a sneak preview of the front, very us and very cute, we think. Of course, my grandfather said it looks nothing like a wedding invite - which only made us happier. Diana, my friend, art director and bridesmaid made the design and she did a wonderful job, especially dealing with my obsessive changes. Bless her, she's a rock :)


Oh, I should also mention the quote was stolen from a Takashi Murakami exhibit we saw together at the end of last year. We both found it brilliantly simple and we think it pretty much expresses how lost we are without the other. Good thing we don't ever have to be lost again.

The surprise.

We just got home from Easter lunch at Timo's parents' house, and we didn't come back alone. Timo's brother's girlfriend, Nora, made us a really sweet surprise: she designed and painted two custom Munnys we can use as cake toppers. She did a really great job and we love them, so we're really looking forward to sticking them on top of the wedding cake. Below, a few pictures. It's pretty awesome to have special things like this be part of the wedding, I think these little details are what make it really memorable. Awesome job, Nora!

The flowers.

I'm really excited about making my first little bouquet for the civil ceremony. I love flowers and I love putting different ones together, I guess it's one of my girlier sides.

I wanted this first bouquet to be a lot like the one I'm gonna have at the big wedding, and so it shall be. The main flower in the whole story is my absolute favourite, the ranunculus, in two shades: yellow and orange. Then I'm also adding yellow tulips, because they are such a simple and fresh presence and, well, it's spring. The rest is just gonna be greenery and little subtle bits to bring out the blooms.

For the big wedding though I'm gonna add yellow orchids as well, because I've always loved them and they're such a peculiar flower. Also, I'm thinking the bouquet's "garnish", as one might call it, is going to be white.

So that's pretty much the flower story. I'm still not sure how easy it'll be to get the ranunculus in Bucharest, but I remember buying some in pots a few years back, so chances are they'll be findable. I can't believe in less than two weeks I'll be holding the first bouquet in my hands. It's quite a trip.

UPDATE: Here's the bouquet I had at the first wedding.

The deadline.

We finally have a date for the wedding at the Mayor's Office - April 17th. Which means in the eyes of the state we'll be husband and wife in less than a month.

We're already starting to have stupid conversations like "oh, I can't say my boyfriend anymore, it'll be my husband" or making fun about me becoming Frau Zohm and these kinds of things... It's exciting and a bit scary at the same time because we both realise this is something massive and life-changing. Needless to say, it is a time of reflection. And shopping, since it's still way too cold for my strappy dress!

I think I'll be back with a more spring-ish post about the wedding flowers. I anticipate problems in that department, but I also forsee solutions.

The update.

Sooo... we finally managed to successfully submit our file at the State Office. All we have to do now is wait for it to be processed so we know exactly when we can get this done.

So here's a little advice for Romanian citizens who wanna get married in Germany: go get married in Denmark instead. We almost eloped to a small island called Aereo there because the papers needed are far more reasonable, but our parents got to us first and we decided to give ze Germans another try.

In our practical section today, here is a list of what a Romanian citizen needs if they are thinking of marrying a German citizen, in Germany:

- your passport
- your international birth certificate in original, with an Apostille from Romania, legally translated in Germany (translations done in Romania are not valid)
- a paper from the Mayor's Office in your Hometown that says you do not show up as married in their books (Apostille from Romania, legal translation done in Germany)
- a paper from the German city where you reside stating that you are in their books and what your address is (not older than 2 weeks)
- your last salary slip

Be prepared to spend a lot of time and money on translations, post, Apostille and taxes. I think our biggest problems in the process were the fact that they didn't want to accept my old birth certificate and that the people at the Romanian Consulate totally gave us the wrong paper stating I'm single. I mean, if they don't know what the German state requires, who are you supposed to trust? Anyways, it went double-complicated because every time I needed a new paper I had to send my mom a mandate giving her the right to pick it up for me from the authorities. Fun stuff.

So this is pretty much it, now we're playing the waiting game, one of my favourites. Other than that, we reviewed the menu for the big wedding and it sounds delicious. Keep you posted!

The honeymoon.

We initially wanted to go to the Maldives, actually I wanted it and Timo agreed, but then we realised we have to go somewhere where we won't get bored for two weeks. The answer came a lot harder than it should've, it was quite embarassing really.

The bottom line is that after reviewing the world map we decided for the coolest place ever: Japan. It might have something to do with my Harajuku obsession from far before Gwen Stefani, with our Japanese candy collection started in London, with our new found obsession for designer toys, with our neverending lust for suhi and with the fact that Düsseldorf is the city with the third largest Japanese community in Europe.

I made a bit of a must-see list in my head so far, after doing a bit of asking around and apparently, other than Tokyo which is gonna be a challenge in intself, I really want us to see Nara, Kyoto, Nikko, Kamakura and Okinawa. I got a lot of tips and tricks from a well-travelled friend and I hope I'll use them to the fullest. I really wanna document this trip as good as I can, it was so hard for me to get help in the area.

So far, we booked the plane tickets and the hotel (we'll be flying KLM via Amsterdam and staying in a reasonable place money and location-wise). Also, I have purchased three vital books from Amazon, I'd feel a bit lost without doing research beforehand.


There is only one more thing to take care of: because I am very much a Romanian citizen, I need a visa to go to Japan and I can only apply for it at the end of June. So until then, the suspense will be killing us. I'll keep you posted with the festivities on that one.

Also, how can you not love Japan... when their "Hello!" on the phone is "Moshi moshi!". Awesome.

The dress.

This is the big one for me. And any girl out there who says differently is either lying or just plain... non-weddingy. Although if I sit and think about it - I've been quite passionate about every detail we're setting up, and any that would fail would upset me just as much. Probably.

So, back to the ensemble. I ordered my dress for the German wedding online here, and I must say I'm totally happy with it. Initially, I wanted this one, from another shop:


... but by the time I was getting ready to buy it, they had sold out. So then I started looking for another dress and found the one I ended up choosing. It was love at first sight, and since Timo was standing right next to me, he got a glimpse too and totally approved. It's really playful and looks a bit rockabilly-esque, especially since I'll be wearing it with a full lace petticoat slip underneath and peep-toe higheels. Here it is:


The dress for the big wedding I bought from a local shop, and it's one of this year's Pronovias collection. This is the first dress I saw and thought to myself "This is it". Initially I didn't think I could afford it, but I gave in when I tried it on. And that was it. It arrives in June and I'm stoked to have it. Obviously, I can't post it here because Timo doesn't know it and he won't until the day.

Also, I don't like the classic long veil, so I found a really cute version that will work great with my style, I'm quite excited about that. Shoe-wise, I'll be wearing yellow classic high Chucks that Timo already bought for me. Yellow will be the main colour of the wedding scheme, paired up with a dark purple, simply because Timo didn't agree to my bridesmaids wearing black. He wants to be the only one wearing black at the altar, so I had to give him that one.

So much for the fashion report. On to others!

The location.

Well, if all goes according to plan, the "venue" for the wedding will be the Stirbei Palace, close to Buftea. Apparently, football players really like getting married there so it should be good enough for us as well.

The way we thought out the event is more like a punk-rock fun fair than a wedding, so this place seems to have enough space and interesting places we can use to the fullest. We both wanted an outdoor wedding, but it's always good to have indoors as well since the weather is the one thing we can't plan - and here we have both. Not to mention the beautiful lake, the forest, the spacious pavillion and as Maria says, the "out of this world" chapel. It was gonna take an army to get me inside a church, so it's good we can have the ceremony outside, in front of this absolutely gorgeous little place.

Below are some pictures taken by my brother while "location-scouting". It's looking very wintery now, but wait 'till the green takes over.






Later edit - I think the chapel's gonna look something like this:

First bump.

So, it turns out planning a wedding isn't exactly a bed of roses.

Yesterday we went to the State Office here to try and submit our papers and get a date for the formal wedding (although the party and ceremony will take place in Romania, we're making all the paperwork here). But of course things are never as easy as they seem.
The first time we went there to get info, they asked for my birth certificate and a paper that says I'm single, both official and translated legally. So I had my mom send me my original birth certificate and I went to the Romanian consulate in Bonn to get the paper that says i'm officially not married, therefore I can get married all I want. Got both things, but of course they're not valid. One, they don't accept translations, as legal as they may be, unless they are made in Germany, and two, they don't really want my birth certificate, but an extract from the Family Book (no idea what that is in Romanian), both issued by the Mayor's office in Bucharest and legally translated here.

So there go another two weeks while I send my mom a legal mandate so she can get the other stuffs for me, then there go another 100 euro to translate the documents and mail them. Yep, this wedding stuff is... fun.

The proposal.

He actually proposed on Christmas, and coincidentally on our 6-months anniversary. It was very sweet, intimate and simple, just the way it should be. Although he later told me he had had many alternative plans (finding out my ring size was quite the adventure, and still the ring is a bit big), finally he simply asked me to go out for a walk on the beach on our last night in the Dominican Republic. This was our first long vacation together and we had looked forward to spending a normally snowy occasion on the beach, under a palmtree. Which is where he asked the big question as well.

While I love remembering the exact discussion we had and what words were said, what I can say here is that I made him ask me about five times - the last time in German, and I think also the next morning. Actually, I still ask him to do it from time to time, it's such a special moment and it goes by so fast when it happens, that it's kind of nice to hear it over and over again and pretend it's for the first time.

These are actually a few pictures taken right before, right after the proposal and when we got back to the room - always carry the camera with you, you never know when it might happen. I'm glad I did that night, obviously.

Us.

We met on a late Wednesday night in the local punk-rock bar, very appropriately called "Schaukelstühlchen" - meaning "The Rocking Chair". I remember it was the night Germany had played Turkey and qualified for the Final of the European Championship, and we stayed out to see what was gonna happen on the streets. Somehow, me wanting to walk by myself on the streets for a while turned into Diana joining me, then into watching the game while having a pizza (in a Turkish restaurant, no less) to going to see what's up on Ratinger - where everybody goes out on Wednesday nights, to going for a drink in a local rock disco, if you will, and finally, at around 2 a.m., to ending up in front of the Shaukel, wondering whether to go in for one last drink or not.



As we were standing in front of the big windows, Diana looked in and said "Oh, a really cute guy is looking at you". Now if you know me, you also know that 2 a.m. for me is the time when nothing other than sleeping makes any sense. I was kind of grumpy and fed up by then, I just wanted my warm bed and loathed the thought of even the way home, which would've taken some effort. With that in mind, I gave in and in we went. We sat down at the bar and then I saw Timo for the first time. He was sitting with his back turned to me, but I did notice the sideburns. I love sideburns. I encourage them and appreciate them to their full value. So this was the cute guy Diana was talking about...

He turned around and looked at me. I smiled. He smiled back. This happened a few times in the following minutes, but he wasn't making any move. After we met, he told me he really liked me ever since he saw me on the street (although he thought I was a Metalhead because I had the word "DEATH" on my shirt). And then he also told me he didn't come over to talk to me because he kept thinking I was just being polite when I smiled back.

So we smile at each other for a half an hour, after which he goes to the bathroom, passing me on his way. When he passes back, he gives me a really hard knock on my back and says "Tchüss!", as in "Good bye!". And he leaves. Yep, he up and left the bar with his friends. Huh? Did he just leave the bar and say "Good bye!" without ever saying "Hello"? Weird guy. I turned to Diana and told her. We laughed. But low and behold, not a minute passes that he comes back. Straight over to me and starts flapping in German. I stop him and tell him I only speak English. He panics - he wasn't expecting that. He switches to English and asks if I wanna go for a drink. I say yes, I give him my card.

Timo leaves the bar. His friends ask him where he knows me from. He says he doesn't. Friends in shock. He gets home and wants to e-mail me, at 5 a.m. Friends strongly advise against it, so he doesn't seem "desperate". But he insists he feels like e-mailing me before going to sleep, because he feels like it. Friends also insist on not doing it. Timo waits for friends to go home and e-mails me. Ergo, on the 8th of August '09, a bit over a year after we met, we're gonna become an official, happy and a very much in love family.

I think this below is our first "official" couple picture. It was taken at the first concert we saw together, Lagwagon. Timo says "Lagwagon" was also the first word that came out of my mouth and passionately captured his interest. It was the hook. I say it from time to time now, so he doesn't lose it.